Cribbing in layman terms refers to non-stop complaining. Many individuals over time develop the habit of cribbing and use it as an unhealthy way to deal with situations without realising it. People often crib about some very petty situations and seem to get a sense of comfort out of it. Here are ten factors that may explain their emotions.
- State of dilemma
Many times people tend to be in a state of flux. They are most of the time puzzled about a situation and are indecisive and don’t have the clarity about the problem. They are sometimes trapped between the expectations from oneself and others. Thus, cribbing becomes an immediate reaction when they are unable to take action according to their own discretion.
Consider an example where the wife wants to continue to work but the husband and the in-laws are not comfortable with her decision. Thus, in most cases the wife cannot go against family’s wish and is more likely to leave and crib about the same over each and every small problem
2. Higher Aspirations from Self and Others
What are people most likely to do when they are not able to achieve goals?
The problem doesn’t lie in making efforts to achieve goals but some of us set unrealistic goals for ourselves which may be beyond our capability. So the person’s most prominent reaction will be cribbing. Not just own expectation but our close one tends to have certain expectation from us which we might find difficult to accomplish.
If the husband is an introvert and doesn’t like to socialise but frequently goes for outings due to wife’s persuasion, he is most likely to complain about whatever she does since he came against his will.
3. Lack of Patience
Many times people don’t take out time to figure out what is going wrong. Thus they instinctively respond with constant complaining and fail to rationalise the situation. When an individual is not patient they tend to constantly think about the scenario without being able to logically draw the line and comprehend the pros and cons. Thus, when it comes for waiting for things to happen the person may face difficulties.
The most famous complain that wives tend to hear from her husband is when they have to wait for her to get ready. As husband get ready fast and are constantly nagging and complaining about that how much time they take to get ready.
Not every individual is ready to make adjustment and try to accommodate according to needs of others. Whenever they are asked to change themselves they fail to comprehend the reasons and tend to grumble about it. Such individuals will any day prefer to crib rather than to make changes and move forward.
Many times when people stay in joint families, there are certain expectations from their daughter in law such as getting up on time but often they are not very comfortable with it.
5. To get attention
One of the most significant reason could be the need to be appreciated by others. People like to get acknowledged and want people to be around them. These people often consider their vulnerability a weapon to emotionally manipulate others. While on some individuals these tricks might work but cribbing tends to push most of the people away.
In certain scenario the wives feel that their husbands are not listening to them and are not paying attention to their feelings. They tend to complain about their work or household chores in a way to catch husband’s consideration.
6. Not being responsible
When people crib about the situation it shows that how much an individual is affected by the scenario. In many instances people do not want to take responsibility nor want to be held responsible. When people crib, the message it conveys is that the person is not strong enough to make things better and is not self-reliant.
7. Low self-efficacy
When people are high on self-efficacy they believe in themselves and feel that they will be able to deal with anything, and when individuals are low on self-efficacy they don’t believe in their own competencies. Thus such people are not just constantly depend on others but are always looking out for their approval.
When women go back to work after a sabbatical they question their own capability and get into mode of self-doubt regarding success. They are most likely to come back and crib to their husband and family about their difficulties.
8. Being Pessimistic
When people are in the habit to crib their mind focus on problems and are not motivated to look for solutions. They just feel overburdened by the number of problems they have. For such individuals investing time to look for solutions is not important but rather whining is considered to be the way. Cribbers are more attuned to say “NO” compared to saying “YES.”
Pessimistic people are most of time critiques and they tend to find faults not just in themselves but also in others.
It is normal human tendency to compare ourselves with others. The comparison we draw is hardly ever in a positive light and is mostly in negative direction. It is essential to understand that when we compare ourselves with others on the dimensions that we lack, we are more likely to whine about it.
An individual might see their close friend travelling in a luxury car or owning a big house. Thus by drawing comparison he might complain or grumble about it constantly.
Author: Dr. Nisha Khanna
Dr. Nisha Khanna is a renowned relationship counselor. With a career span of more than 16 years, she has been awarded as India’s Best Marriage & Family Counsellor by INDIA HEALTHCARE AWARDS 2018 and also honored as Best Relationship Counselor for Family & Marriage in India by India’s Healthcare Excellence Awards 2018. Social Impact Award (2018-2019) was conferred to Dr. Nisha Khanna by ‘Tense’ for exemplary work in the field of women empowerment, marriage counselling & motivational speaking. Dr. Nisha Khanna is one of the prominent Delhi’s leading marriage and family counsellor and shares her amazing and uncanny insights with the worldwide clientele who she values as friends and followers today.