Where and how do I get started with developing myself when there is a TON of free advice available, each contradicting the other?
It is stressful to embark on a journey to self development or self improvement. In fact, you have to work extra hard to carefully filter out the tons of free advice available from people that is not right for you.
But how do you know what is indeed right for you?
In Simon’s words,
“People don’t buy WHAT you do, people buy WHY you do it.”
And the WHAT (their product/service/advice etc.) only serves as PROOF of their belief.
I’ll give you an example of the Fitness world. When I first joined a gym, and started lifting, I was a little chubby, a little over weight and had double cheeks.
There were a dozen instructors that circled me every time I was in the gym to sell me training packages. And I was serious and committed and I knew I could see results faster if I worked with a Coach/Instructor.
Problem is, none of them looked the part or spoke the part. Most of the instructors simply assumed I wanted to get BIG (when I said “Increase Strength and Body Building” – as that’s what ALL guys want and come to gym for, or at least that’s what they seemed to believe in).
This was until I sat down and envisioned EXACTLY what I wanted to look like – in minute details. Once I got clear on this, the rest became easy. I started researching ONLY topics that were relevant to this, and ignored the rest of it all.
That’s when I discovered the sweet spot between aesthetics training and other forms of strength training along with different variations of diet / eating.
Now back to the question: Start by answering this.
- Why do you want to self-improve?
- In what areas?
- What will you do with an improved version of yourself?
- Is it simply growth?
- Is it a promotion at work?
- Is it to teach others?
- Is it to lead others (yourself perhaps)?
- Is it to be a role model for others in your life and at work?
- Is it to be more significant?
- Is it to better care for others?
- Is it to inspire your friends?
- Is it so your employer and your team members admire you? and aspect you more?
- Is it because you simply are a life long LEARNER and are hungry to learn more and BE more? That’s growth mindset by the way if you think that way.
Once you answer that, you’re RAS (reticular activating system will zero in on those skills and improvement areas for you to develop more and optimize on).
Another simpler way to do this (and save some time in the process) is, look around, and find someone that you aspire to be like some day.
It may be a public figure, a boss or manager – albeit rare this is, it could be a mentor you can seek out, or a self-improvement coach.
Work with them for some time, that’ll get you started on the right path, which you can alter/tweak as you gain clarity and as your destination vision changes.
And as Rumi said “Once you start to walk on the way, the way appears”.
I hope this helps you find your way.